Tuesday, June 1, 2010
A year ago, as I was fearful about the future for my precious baby girl, I decided she was going to have something special from her mommy.
At that time I was 30 weeks pregnant, not knowing if I would only ever know my daughter through her constant movements in my tummy, or get to spend a lifetime with her. After that first ultrasound where Norah's ventricles were known to be enlarged I had a inner peace that everything was going to be okay. God was with us, he already knew our baby girl and he was going to protect her. I knew. BUT, there is always DOUBT, the thing that the would slowly slips in after going to yet another doctors appointment and being told 50% chance you will take your baby home from the hospital and if you do 50% that she will need total cares provided to her. Most likely she'll have learning dissabilities and we just aren't sure what quality of life she will have. Well, I also needed to have something to help keep me preoccupied while I sat comtemplating my daughter's future, which lead to praying, and often pleading with God to take this away from my daughter.
While at a good old Walmart on Memorial Day weekend, I saw yarn and I thought I am going to make my daughter a blanket. I thought even if I have to bury her, it will be with this blanket that I made with LOVE. From that moment, I was determined to teach myself to crochet.
Over the next seven weeks I worked to complete this blanket for my baby girl. I taught myself one stich, that I repeated row after row, until it was big enough to wrap up my baby Norah. It was something that didn't require much thinking and it kept me going, when all I wanted to do is sit and cry. I could work on it while waiting at doctor's appointments, while riding in the car and at night while I would talk to Norah and plead with God to heal my baby, please just give her a mircle.