We have been blessed to not have had a shunt failure since Norah left the hospital last August. I know that at some point it will fail, that is just the facts. I also feel a constant strain/battle within between being Norah's mommy and being a RN in an ER. There are times when I want to pick her up and run to the ER, then the nurse in me say step back, look at all the symptoms what makes sense. It's a mixed blessing at times. I can remember Norah being in the NICU and getting her first dose of vanco to help prevent any infection from her incision leaking CSF. I knew she was developing Redman's reaction, yet she received two more doses with a worsening reaction before I could get anyone to pay attention. I hated feeling not in control. In that moment I didn't ever want to leave Norah side for a minute, she needed me there to be her mom and advocate. I also dislike it when staff thinks I know something because I am a nurse and don't properly explain things. This is my child, I am currently not working, the brain is processing things differently and my husband needs to understand as well.
Alright enough with my vent.
After two long days and the battle of what to do (not to mention a trip out of the country quickly appoarching) Norah's fever finally broke this afternoon. She was more like herself tonight but still tired. I pray tomorrow on the mending path.
Will this stress I feel whenever Norah get sick ever go away? I wish there was a magic button to let me know when to worry and when to just go with the flow!!
